Its astounding how much things are changing.
THis year was supposed to be out year, a year where we can be together and not give two shits about who's there and such. but now not so much. its annoying. I need her. I miss her. she basically ignored me all week becasue of band camp.
Being depressed sucks. I dont know why, i;m just so freaking lonely. i need to make new friends. i need someone to care for about 3 seconds of my life.
This sounds rediculous, i have her. its not like she's not there. shes just so.. overly involved in kickline recently and i dont begrudge her,, i just wish she could spare 7 seconds for me. blah

so i cant help but be worried about maggie. Shes going into some drug rehab-y kind of thing. I just need her to be ok. Brittney gets mad at me because apparently i'm more concerned with maggie then her. Sometimes shes right, but sometimes shes so nuts and jealous and meh. This isnt about her though. I honestly dont understand why I care as much as i do, but i do. She (maggie) has so much to look forward to, that seeing her kill her self from an overdose or bad drugs or a cut too deep makes me want to cry. I believe her when she says she's not trying to kill herself. I honestly do believe that shes trying to get better, but i fear that she cant do it alone and i dont know how to help her. Her parents couldnt care less and that makes me really sad for her. I dont know what i can do.

blah. i havent blogged in a while. so yeah.