Une ode a cassandre.
so this isnt a poem, or letter. its a rant. A rant directed at one specific girl, who will know who she is.
I love you. I love you with all of my soul, and i always will be, you know that. There are some people in my life right now, who i cannot lose. You, my dear, are one of them. You're such a great friend, and a great person and i honestly appriciate every little thing that you do for me. You talk me up, and im so afraid of falling off the pedistal that you sometimes elevate me to. Falling off it, crashing down like i may have, hurts you, and in turn hurts me. God, i hate that. I hate that i'm so me sometimes. I love that you understand it. And the letter i addressed eariler wasnt legitimate. She loves me and i love her, but were both too young to know if we'd actually get married. The previous post wasnt supposed to be a slap in the face to you. I didnt know how to tell you how i felt, and i figgured that was the most direct way. I dont want to hurt the friendship that took so long to reconstruct. Its like pouring water over something you just cleaned all the rust off of. I may not feel romantically for you anymore, but that in no way means that i dont love you. Maybe im over dramatic. Maybe im irritating and hard to deal with. I know you dont know what to say to me half the time; a simple liz, shut the hell up works jsut fine. I hate that i hurt you. Im sorry that i hurt you because i care about you.